In a society preoccupied with how best to raise a child, I’m finding I need to mesh what’s best for my child with what is necessary for a balanced mother. I am recognizing that ceaseless giving translates into giving yourself away. And, when you give yourself away, you are not a healthy mother, and you are not a healthy self.
So, now I’m learning to be a woman first and a mother second. I am learning to just experience my emotions without robbing my children of their individual dignity by feeling their emotions too. I am learning that a healthy child will have his own set of emotions and characteristics that are his alone. And, very different from mine.
I am learning the importance of honest exchanges and feelings because pretences don’t fool children. They know their mother better than she knows herself.
I am learning that no one overcame her past unless she confronts it. Otherwise, her children will absorb exactly what she’s attempting to over come.
I am learning that words of wisdom fall on deaf ears if my actions contradict my deeds. Children tend to be better impersonators than listeners.
I am learning that life is meant to be filled with as much sadness and pain as happiness and pleasure. And allowing ourselves to feel everything life has to offer is an indicator of fulfillment.
I am learning that fulfilment cannot be attained through giving myself away. But, through giving to myself and sharing with others, I am learning that the best way to teach my children to live a fulfilling life is not by sacrificing my life. It is through living a fulfilling life myself.
I am trying to teach my children that I have a lot to learn. Because I am learning that letting go of them is the best way of holding on.